When It’s Time to Change

Have you ever observed a fly trying to get out of a room through an open window? The fly will often continue banging into the glass, when all it has to do is move just an inch to the side to set itself free. A mentor of mine pointed this out to me to make me realize that I was continuing to do the same things over and over with no success, instead of making a change, even a slight adjustment, and changing the course of my life. I was blown away by the lesson, but it took me a long time and a lot of internal struggle before I could implement the advice.

Do you feel like you’re stuck in the same place for too long, with no end in sight? Maybe it’s time for you to shake things up a bit, make a change in your life. You might think that you’re doing everything right, but that you’ve got bad luck, God is messing with you, or everyone else is just screwed up. I’ll go out on a limb and suggest that maybe it’s just you. If you’ve been doing your thing in your particular way for years, and you still haven’t found happiness, then you seriously need to consider making a change. This applies to all aspects of life, including career and life goals, but I’ll confine this discussion to dating.

If you’ve been dating for more than a few years and you still haven’t found your future spouse, you need to take a moment (probably much more) and reevaluate. It is quite possible that you are doing everything right and that factors beyond your control have messed things up for you. It’s much more probably that you’re not doing everything right and that you need to make changes.

I’m not here to tell you what you’re doing wrong and what you need to change, because everyone has their own stuff to work on, although if you read my blog posts you might get some ideas and insights. All I’m saying now is that after you’ve conducted a brutally honest self-evaluation and you’ve concluded that there are things you would like to, or feel you should, do differently, don’t just continue with your life as you’ve done in the past. Make a change. How much of a change, how drastic, how large or small is totally up to you. It’s your life. Just don’t be that fly and keep banging into that some glass pane. Make an adjustment. Make a change.

For me, the most drastic change I made was when I decided to take a few months and go to Israel with a very specific plan: to find my soulmate. I always thought, talked, and even dreamed about it, but for a decade and a half I kept on leading my life in the same, comfortable, manner. Yes, I did make adjustments along the way, and I saw tangible results, but I needed to make that big change to really succeed.

Making a change isn’t easy. Most of us strive to attain a comfort level in life. When we achieve it, we dread losing it. The older we get, the more comfortable we get in our familiar routine, and the harder it gets to make a change. It’s scary, but you can do it. I promise you, you can change your life. The most important thing is to make that decision to change, and commit to seeing it through, no matter how hard it may seem at first. It will always be easier to continue, or fall back, on the road your currently on and comfortable with. If you choose to do that you’ll continue to be comfortable but frustrated and unhappy. It’s your choice. Why not try for a change?

If you need help figuring out if you need to make a change, what that change should be, and how to make it, please contact me. I can help.

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