301 – How Many Photos Should You Post on Your Online Profile? – Part III
In my first two posts in this mini series I described how I went about screening 45 matches I received from a dating site. I explained the overwhelming emphasis most men place on the photos you present them with. I walked you through my personal experience analyzing those profile photos, and gave you some tips on how you can improve them. The last thing I want to discuss on this topic is regarding the number of photos you should post on your online profile.
I viewed several profiles out of my 45 matches. Most had, on average, five photos posted. Of those five, at least one was usually less than flattering. Do you think I did the logical calculation and decided that since four out of five photos were winners I’d give her a shot and hit the contact button? NOT A CHANCE. I did what most men would do when faced with a similar situation. I clicked the back arrow in my browser to try my luck with the next profile.
There’s no requirement to post more than one photo. Unless you’re 1000% certain that a photo brings out the best in you, don’t post it. If you’re not sure, don’t post it. If you need a second opinion ask someone who you’re sure will be totally (brutally) objective and honest.
There was one profile I clicked on that really got my attention. She had only one photo posted. It showed her from the midsection up. She looked professional, put together, confident, and she was smiling. There was very little skin showing, but I could tell that she was relatively thin and in good shape. Most importantly, she had a really nice smile. I’m guessing that a professional took the photo.
Now, the reality is that I might not have been attracted to her from the waist down, and had she posted other photos that showed more of her I might have passed on moved on. But she didn’t. She gave me enough in that one photo to calm my fears and feed my curiosity and imagination just enough to make me want to contact her (even without reading her essays or analyzing her username!). Guys have amazing powers of imagination. Let them run wild! Some of the other women I viewed could have done the same with their primary photo, but they chose to post additional photos that messed things up.
Is it unethical to hide certain photos of yourself? Aren’t you obligated to give a man every possible piece of information about yourself so that he can make an educated decision? No and no. As long as you are posting an authentic and current photo of yourself, you’re on firm ethical ground.
But are you setting yourself up for disappointment when he actually sees you in person? I don’t think so. Here’s why:
1. He might actually like what you thought you needed to hide.
2. You might look much better in real life than you do in photos (I hate the way I look in photos!).
3. Your impression of yourself might be a lot worse than the way others see you. You might look in the mirror and grimace while other people are looking at you and saying, “WOW!”.
Bottom Line: Post only your very best photo(s) and give the guy enough to spark his imagination and contact you.
