301-Online Dating: A Photo Can Say It All

We live fast moving lives, with no time to waste. We demand our communication, information, entertainment, and nourishment in real time, without delay. Fast food, instant meals, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, smart phones, instant messaging…we must have exactly what we want when we want it: right now. We make decisions on the fly, in lighting speed, without investing significant thinking time for fear of throwing our lives off the fast track to success. For most people, online dating is no different. You search through hundreds of online dating profiles on dozens of sites in a matter of moments, hoping to find that special one that jumps out at you, slaps your face, and yells, “here I am, your fantasy dream come true!” Without commenting on the effectiveness or success rate of this method of cyber-searching, it is the reality, and if you want to be a successful cyber-dater, you need to accept that and use it to your advantage.
The first, and probably only, part of your online dating profile that a prospective seeker will see is your photo. This is 99% true for a male seeker and 90% true of females (I’m giving the gals the benefit of the doubt based on the alleged theory that they don’t care as much about appearance, even though in this day and age, they have unfortunately descended onto that some low rung on the ladder of superficiality as their male counterparts). Your photo is therefore the most important piece of bait in your fishing kit of dating tools that you will need to hook your soulmate prey, so it better be good. When I refer to profile photos I don’t just mean your official dating site Mona Lisas. Every photo that includes you, or any part of your anatomy identifiable to the world, must portray you in your absolute best light. That means you need to search through Facebook, Myspace, Picassa (you get the idea) and destroy any trace of image that doesn’t completely and totally make you shine. Always remember that your potential soulmates will scour the web using the most innovative and effective detective and forensic skills that would impress members of any metropolitan CSI team, in search of your photo. It’s up to you to make sure they only see what you want them to see.

What makes a good online dating profile photo? Here are a few things, in no particular order:
1. Your main online dating profile photo should be of you alone, not you and your ex (or current) squeeze, or you and your best friends who happen to be better looking than you. You want it to be absolutely clear that it is YOU who is ready and waiting for your soulmate.

2. Your main online dating profile photo should be relatively current. There’s a big difference between making yourself look your best and deception. Enough said.

3. Your main online dating profile photo should allow someone to actually see you. That means you shouldn’t be standing a mile away, behind a tree, or with your back facing the camera. If someone needs a magnifying glass to see you, they’ll pass and move on to the next prospect.

4. Find someone with a decent camera who has a clue about photography to take your photo. Your old cellphone camera is probably not going to give you the best result. In fact, it might make you look really bad. So will photos taken with really bad lighting or with you or the photo taker moving around. Many conscientious soulmate searchers have their photos taken by professionals. While that is certainly advantageous, I don’t think it’s an absolute necessity as long as you have someone with a decent camera who can take decent photos. If you don’t, or you’re not sure, then spring for the professional photos and be sure that you’ve done your very best. Now, I’m not saying that a hip, artistic, professional can’t make you look good. I’m sure they can. But if you don’t have, or feel like, spending the money, you can do fine on your own. If you need some help looking your best for your photos, click here.

5. Make sure you look good in every single one of your photos. Get someone who you trust will be honest with you to help you evaluate your photos. You might want to get rid of that photo with you in those old, plaid gym shorts and tank top, attempting to dead-lift that metal trunk, or that one of you in the house frock…you get the idea. Anything that will make someone gag or burst out in mocking laughter should be deleted.

7. You can choose a setting for your photo that reflects your personality. A peaceful nature setting portrays calmness, balance, and maturity. An amusement park reflects high energy, vivaciousness, and excitement. Be creative.

6. A smile exhibits confidence, stability, friendliness, and lots of positive energy. It attracts people and makes them feel good. Everyone wants to date someone who makes them feel good. SMILE, but be normal about it.

Bottom Line: Your online dating profile photos are your calling card, your bait. Make sure they are great.

PS – For more on this topic, read my past postings on First Impressions and Cyber-Impressions.

Click here to learn about Jcoach Image Consultant Danielle Devorah and her rates, and to set up an appointment and get your special Jcoach discounted rate.

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